"BLACKHEART!" (MSH)
"BlAcKhEaRt RiSeS!"
The demon lord rose up from a pool of darkness in the center of the ring, taking both King and Demitri off-guard with a shower of demons and lightning bolts. King went down, her hair standing on end, but Demitri stood firm against the onslaught.
"YoUr SoUl Is WoRtH A KiNg'S RaNsOm iN tHe NeThErWoRlDs, MaXiMoV..." Blackheart taunted.
"Is it worth your existence, demon?" Demitri asked coolly.
"wE sHaLl sEe wHoSe ExIsTeNcE iS aT StAkE."
"We shall indeed."
"SOGETSU!" (SS4)
"Hmph," Sogetsu said, walking calmly down to the ring. No Kazuki.
As he entered, he settled for slashing Scorpion across the midsection. At least there would be entertainment while he waited.
"BISON!" (SF)
"So spell it out in blood / BASTARD IS AS BASTARD DOES! / And nothing gets done / BASTARD IS AS BASTARD DOES! / The everlasting harm, destructive of the norm / so spell it out in blood / BASTARD IS AS BASTARD DOES!"
"This again?" Wanderer asked.
"Turns out he likes it," Birdman replied.
Bison rushed towards the ring, almost directly into the arms of the waiting Chun Li. He didn't seem to care, though, almost as if there was something behind him that he feared more than he did Chun Li.
There was.
"THANOS!" (MSH)
"Me and myself killed a world today / Me and myself got a world to save / Broadcast dead revolution don't pay / Strapped up freaks on the Lazarus plane..."
"Monster Magnet?" Birdman asked.
"I live on the edge." Wanderer turned it up.
"I can tell just by the climate, and I can tell just by the style / I was born and raised on Venus and I may be here a while/Cause every supersonic jerkoff who plugs into the game / Is just like every subatomic genius who just invented pain..."
Thanos strode down to ringside. Mimic walked next to him, trying to act nonchalant. "...and finally, sir, I would like to remind you that it is against Rumble regulations, regulations which you agreed to, for you to warp, spindle, fold, or mutilate our dimensional space."
"Silence." Thanos surveyed the ring. "I am here to please my lady Death, not to destroy a dimension. While I deliver these fools to her embrace, I will not damage your precious reality. On that you have the word of Thanos."
"Thank you, sir, and good luck." Mimic left in a hurry.
As Thanos levitated into the ring, some fighters ran like hell. Some, like Captain America, looked grim, and prepared themselves for the fight of their lives.
King, unlike anyone else, rolled up her sleeves and charged.
Skybox Seats, RumbleDome
"Did I hear that purple guy correctly?" Orion said. "You and he are a couple?"
Death held out his scythe, which read NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. With the same motion, he decapitated Orion, his head landing in the bean dip. Lief, who was too drunk to notice his presence, jabbed a corn chip repeatedly into his eye.
Rancid stood alone at the back of the room. "Don't you guys wish you were down there?"
Matrix turned her chair around. "The whole reason we got this skybox is because we agreed to not be down there, 'Cid. I, for one, am perfectly willing to eat free food and drink free booze and watch."
Mantazz made buzzing sounds of agreement, her head underneath a silver platter. No one liked to think about what she was eating.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Rancid picked up his chainsaw. "Still, I'm gonna walk around for a while out there."
"Later, 'Cid!" Matrix called over her shoulder. "Man, what the hell is that girl thinking? He's supposed to be omnipotent, right?"
"Ten shillings say Thanos incinerates King." Wulf waved the money in the air.
"You're on, limey."
RumbleDome Control Centre, Sound Booth D
"Hello? Mr. Sakazaki?" Rimururu's voice was hesitant. "We need your help, sir..."
There was no response. The darkened room betrayed no hint of motion.
Lion shrugged. "Come on, Rimmy. He must've left."
"Well HELLLLLOOOO LUBBOCK!" Yoshimitsu suddenly folded out of an overhead heating duct in the middle of the room. "The Yoshimitsu 98 is at your service, with over one thousand distinct features to help save humanity, including this spiffy new blender attachment! Call 1-800-YOSHIBOT for more information, or ask your nearest local Yoshimitsu representative. Yoshimitsu! A different kind of company, a different kind of car!"
Rimururu took a moment to comprehend this. "Lion, what is this thing?"
Lion looked at it. "Well, it says it's Yoshimitsu, and there was a robot named Yoshimitsu who was one of Ryo's helpers last year...but man, this thing doesn't look anything like that Yoshimitsu..."
"The Yoshimitsu 2000 is last year's model! That handy yet out-of-date model has now been upgraded to the smooth, sleek Yoshimitsu 98! Featuring faster process time, sharper laser sword, upgraded stereo system, Gigerplex facial armor, and new HappyBot software, guaranteed to make the enemy die happily! This is our Independence Day!"
Rimururu was still not quite up to speed. "Is it saying it wants to help us?"
"Speedy knows what you need, service and value guaranteed!"
Lion nodded slowly. "I think that was a yes."
"How can you understand it?"
Lion looked at her. "Uh...it's kind of hard to explain without a knowledge of 20th-century pop culture."
"The Yoshimitsu 98 has a full pop-culture dictionary unit for your convenience and ease of use! Requesting operating paramaters from designated Heroic Unit Rimururu."
Rimururu was even more confused. "What does that mean? Hero? I don't quite follow."
Lion suddenly blinked. "Wait! It said pretty much the same thing to Ryo last year when it decided it wanted to help him! I guess that means it thinks you're the leader, Rimmy..."
"How did you know it said that?"
"Oh, I bought the video library for last year's Rumble. It only cost ten thousand bucks for the uncut version; I couldn't pass up a deal like that..."
Rimururu looked nervous. "But we need a real hero! I'm not a big time hero like Ryo or Galford or..." she hesitated, "...even Haohmaru..." Yoshimitsu saluted. "Ya wanna know about heroes? Like Griffey? It's how he taps the stick and slides in the dirt, flips the lid and sizes the opposition..."
Rimururu groaned. "All right, Yoshimitsu. Let me explain..."
The Ring
"CY-5!" (WG)
"WAR GODS SUCK!"
"Silverbolt, please..."
Cy-5 scanned the area. Eleven targets present and radar indicates more arriving shortly. Modifying targeting systems to compensate. Terminal defense procedures recommended and initiated. He teleported into the ring and landed an uppercut on Nakoruru. "HSIEN-KO!" (DS3)
"Let's see," Hsien-Ko reviewed to herself, counting on her fingers. As usual, she was cute enough to cause diabetes in lab rats. "First, I have to kill all the Darkstalkers." A thought occurred to her. "But, if I kill all the Darkstalkers, I have to kill myself, since I'm a Darkstalker." She hesitated. "But, if I kill myself, then I can't kill all the Darkstalkers, so I'd better stay alive, but if I don't kill myself, I won't have killed all the Darkstalkers, so..." She grabbed her head. "A A I I I I G G G G G G H H H H H H H !!!!!!"
She jumped into the ring and ran after Demitri, her eyes replaced by little swirly marks.
"JACKY BRYANT!" (VF3)
To Jacky's surprise, Neil Peart's voice burst out over the speakers as he entered the 'Dome.
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice / If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice / You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill / I will choose a path that's clear / I will choose freewill...
"Now I know you're making the playlist," Birdman said accusingly.
"What's your point?" Wanderer grinned.
Once again, someone knocked on the door of the command booth, and Wanderer, hesitantly, got up to answer it. Thankfully for his heart rate, it wasn't Mai Shiranui, but Kelly the secretary. Without preamble, she crossed the room and handed Birdman a parcel wrapped in brown paper.
"What's in this?" Birdman undid the knot holding the bag shut.
"Moolah. We've received a large donation from an organization calling themselves the Anti-Button Mashers Jihad. They're bribing us to keep Eddy Gordo dead."
"How much did they send?"
"'Bout $178 million."
"You jest," Wanderer said.
"Sir, I do not."
Birdman began to shake and grin disturbingly.
"XENOBIA!" (I&B)
To slight cheering, the warrior woman walked calmly down to the ring, her sword and shield ready. Xenobia prepared herself for the greatest battle of her life. Already, the challenge appeared to be higher than anything she had ever seen. She welcomed it.
More importantly, who was that cute blonde girl...?
"WOLVERINE!" (X-M)
Wolverine emerged from the ready room and sped towards Thanos, the camera not quite able to track his passing. As Thanos devastated half the ring with his Power Gem, Wolverine connected a couple of thousand quick claw slashes to his back.
Thanos turned towards him and, very slightly, grinned.
Wolverine bared his teeth. They understood each other perfectly.
"CERVANTES!" (SE)
"There had better be some decent plunder around here somewheres," Cervantes muttered. Soul Edge, as it was wont to do, agreed silently, even as it pointed out the six gems on Thanos' gauntlet to him.
Cervantes' eyes grew wide and greedy.
Room 8-23-12, RumbleDome Hotel
Asmodeus, slightly irritated, watched Blackheart frantically throwing everything from lesser demons to meteor showers at Thanos, who ignored them. He was also ignoring Kikokens, Venom Strikes, Captain America's shield, Fugetsus, Orbitals, spears, and Chaos Flares. The air around him was filled with flying death.
Thanos didn't seem to care.
Perhaps, Asmodeus mused, the time had come to hitch his wagon to another star. Blackheart's preoccupation with the Infinity Gems was well on its way to getting the demon blasted into the ether. Besides, it mused, thinking of its Mace, how many kinds of omnipotence did anyone really need?
Quietly, the demon stepped back into Hell, using the Mace of Tanis to leave an image of itself behind. As long as that flea Ogre did not begin to speak too fast, the deception would go unnoticed; the Mace was more than capable of splitting Asmodeus's perception between both locations.
Upon its entry into its hell, Asmodeus called for a scrying pool. Lesser demons scurried to bring it to him.
The pool quickly showed him what he wanted to see.
"DeImOs." In the scrying pool, Deimos' head jerked around, trying to figure out where that voice had bubbled up from. "I sUmMoN tHeE."
"I come." Deimos sounded both aggravated and respectful, if that was possible.
Eliminated Seating
"WHERE ARE THE DISHONORABLE FOOLS?!?" Exor roared as he entered. "WHERE ARE THE FOREDOOMED, TREACHEROUS MORTALS WHO ELIMINATED ME?! THEIR TIMES HAVE COME!"
"Shaddup and sit down, man." Bob Wilson threw an empty cup at him. "You're shoutin' too loud." Namira, still feeling slightly flattened, had chosen to be in the bathroom when she saw Exor coming.
Exor looked at the mortal, and considered cutting him in half with a well-aimed laser beam. Then, he reconsidered this -- the mortal would, most likely, cheat, just like the last ones--and stalked out of the seating.
As he did so, he knocked down another mortal, this one even more strangely attired than the last one.
"Watch where the hell you're going, asshole!" the mortal demanded, picking himself off the hallway floor.
Exor decided to indulge himself. "Who are you to fling insults, worm?"
"Name's Rancid. You got a problem with it?" He pulled the cord on a device by his side. The device began to buzz and vibrate loudly.
"Not for much longer." Exor rose slightly off the ground, and almost smiled. Mortals would be entertaining, if they didn't die so easily...
The Ring
"XIAO LONG!" (M:tDA)
Xiao walked down to the ring, idly twirling his staff. The sound of reality itself being torn asunder awaited him.
He, of course, jumped right into the thick of it. It was in his contract.
And, the final fighter of this Section: "CHIN GENTSAI!" (KOF96)
The ska punks in the audience (both of 'em) perked up as Chin's theme began. The Urge blared out of the speakers, the volume knob up at eleven.
"Never start singing when our mouths are dry / never start playing till we're liquified / never let up 'til the keg is dry / and when it's gone you know we're saying goodbye / the dudes get mad and the girls start crying... their party's dying!"
Wanderer sang along. "We're goin' to the liquor store!"
"Hic!" Chin stated, shambling down to the ring. Cups of beer flew at him as he went, thrown by Capcom fans, but somehow, he emptied every last one.
WHO WILL LIVE?
WHO WILL DIE?
WILL THANOS AND DEATH HOOK UP AND MAKE SOME BABIES?
UVR3 Resource Site: http://www.slack.net/~arctic/rumble.html.